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Family SecretsStories of Incest and Sexual Violence in Mexico$
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Gloria González-López

Print publication date: 2015

Print ISBN-13: 9781479855599

Published to NYU Press Scholarship Online: September 2016

DOI: 10.18574/nyu/9781479855599.001.0001

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Men’s Life Stories

Men’s Life Stories

Chapter:
(p.180) 5 Men’s Life Stories
Source:
Family Secrets
Author(s):

Gloria González-López

Publisher:
NYU Press
DOI:10.18574/nyu/9781479855599.003.0005

Nine stories of men’s sexual experiences within their families are examined. In contrast to the overwhelming coercive and non-voluntary experiences of women in this study, men’s experiences expose a broader range of the continuum of coercion and consent. On the one had, some men recalled voluntary sexualized encounters with relatives close in age (e.g., cousins). Others reported experiences with older relatives (e.g., uncles, fathers, older brothers) that occurred against their will, and involved control, fear, and violence. Two dimensions characterize their experiences: (1) at an interpersonal level, a man may experience both coercive and voluntary sex at different stages of his life; (2) at an intrapersonal level, there isn’t always a clear distinction between coercion and consent. Three processes help explain the coercion-consent continuum: (1) a code of honor and shame may grant boys and young men more license to explore their desire within the family, conceptualized as kinship sex; (2) heteronormative compliance gives older relatives permission to discipline a younger relative perceived as “gay” through sexual violence; (3) the “al primo me le arrimo” paradigm encourages boys and young men to “test” their heterosexuality by sexually approaching a male cousin.

Keywords:   heteronormative compliance, kinship sex, coercion-consent continuum

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